Battle of mind, soul, and spirit
I’ve recently found myself in a struggle. It’s an inner struggle between my mind, soul and spirit. In the natural state, my mind, I find myself looking inward, drawing into myself, pulling away from others. I find myself reverting back to my introverted state. In this introverted state I find myself focusing on the negative, on the failures, the lack of hope, and all things positive.
Facing this dark and dreary foe on the grassy battlefield stands my spirit. My spirit comes out with great strength and fervor in worship, when its strength is greatest and mind’s is weakest. In worship and prayer, mind is dominated. Nothing on earth can stop my heart from crying out to God, loving him, praising him, lifting his name over all creation.
My soul, however, fights a great struggle to not be overcome by my mind. My soul stands in the middle of the battlefield, trapped in a foxhole, trying to fight its way past mind, thinking (of all things) that it can conquer mind from within its headquarters where its general dwells. Little by little, soul’s troops are depleted, and end up returning to the foxholes. On occasion, spirit will send in reinforcements, as it can spare them, but soul always manages to go off on its own, getting more of its troops sent off as casualties and taking some of spirit’s troops down as well too.
My battle continues, but soul is losing, and the casualties are greater and rising. Spirit is still fighting, but taking more time treating the casualties.
I feel like I have worth where I’m at in Christ, but I see myself as a minor part, like an appendix or a gall bladder, that the body can function without. I see how the world can function without me, much like Ebenezer Scrooge in a Christmas Carol, and how it would go on without me.
This volley of arrows is being shot at by mind. Spirit is firing its own onslaught against mind, carrying the message of my worth in Christ, the purpose that I am serving in His body, in his temple, with my friends, and with my family.
The battle is still going, as the war has not yet begun. I need help and I cry out to God and the faithful around me that He has placed in my midst.
Facing this dark and dreary foe on the grassy battlefield stands my spirit. My spirit comes out with great strength and fervor in worship, when its strength is greatest and mind’s is weakest. In worship and prayer, mind is dominated. Nothing on earth can stop my heart from crying out to God, loving him, praising him, lifting his name over all creation.
My soul, however, fights a great struggle to not be overcome by my mind. My soul stands in the middle of the battlefield, trapped in a foxhole, trying to fight its way past mind, thinking (of all things) that it can conquer mind from within its headquarters where its general dwells. Little by little, soul’s troops are depleted, and end up returning to the foxholes. On occasion, spirit will send in reinforcements, as it can spare them, but soul always manages to go off on its own, getting more of its troops sent off as casualties and taking some of spirit’s troops down as well too.
My battle continues, but soul is losing, and the casualties are greater and rising. Spirit is still fighting, but taking more time treating the casualties.
I feel like I have worth where I’m at in Christ, but I see myself as a minor part, like an appendix or a gall bladder, that the body can function without. I see how the world can function without me, much like Ebenezer Scrooge in a Christmas Carol, and how it would go on without me.
This volley of arrows is being shot at by mind. Spirit is firing its own onslaught against mind, carrying the message of my worth in Christ, the purpose that I am serving in His body, in his temple, with my friends, and with my family.
The battle is still going, as the war has not yet begun. I need help and I cry out to God and the faithful around me that He has placed in my midst.
posted by El Guapo at 8:34 PM
2 Comments:
I think the beginning of victory over all the things we fight is truth - the truth about ourselves. I imagine a Monty Python-esque moment where we line up on the battle field against a vast army of troops, but we say, "no, no, there's only a couple of them! This should be over by teatime!" But the truth, even though it might overwhelm us, gives us a place from which to be rescued by God.
I'll give you a practical example - the other day I was overwhelmed by guilt, condemnation, unrepented sin, my pride and arrogance, careless words, past actions. So I tearfully spoke to God about how I saw myself, how I felt, how I was disappointed that He seemed far away. It was horrible and painful. But, after he truth was out, He began to speak to me about some things He wanted me to do. In His requests were all the love, forgiveness and worth I needed. Before, I felt like I shouldn't be doing anything for God. How does he respond to my truthfulness? By giving me MORE to do!
The battle will go on for our whole lives, sometimes changing locations, weapons, enemies. But the outcome is decided for those who call out to God for help - we win.
It is my perception that what you are going through is something that occurs for different natures. On the one hand, you are serving God and satan wants to have fun attacking your strong tower. Right next to prayer time, praise and worship time, has been noted as being a time when those that serve through such a ministry get attacked. God often used musical instruments as part of an attack in the Old Testament. It seems that this is not so bad as when you are not in the state of praise and worship. So we have to look to the other hand.
Maybe there is something in your acceptance of forgiveness from God. Perhaps you have asked for forgiveness on multiple occasions, but you have not truly extended your hands out to receive it and embrace it in your arms. satan has been noted as putting doubt in the minds of men and women; it is one of his best weapons.
On the other hand, maybe He has asked you to do something new with your life, something new for Him, and you have yet to do so. Not following through on something God asks of you can sometimes make you feel like you are a defeated individual; that absence of the spirit of boldness.
You know, you are not alone. Right now, there are many people going through similar life challenges. They vary in intensity, but they are there in their life. I should know I have some issues of my own; I am also the one who is studying to be the "counselor." : )
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